Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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