listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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