she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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