so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.