She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.