Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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