Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize