would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize