The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You can't just leave with hair like that
You were trust falling into bushes
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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