The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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