dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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