I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.