I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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