Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
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I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.