I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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