I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.