Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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