Texts From Last Night

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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over

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  (570): She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over http://tfl.nu/astk
  Replies (8) Good night (2315) Bad night (621)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....

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  (704): you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face.... http://tfl.nu/3wos
  Replies (24) Good night (1275) Bad night (3692)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am

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  (360): there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am http://tfl.nu/on84
  Replies (26) Good night (5876) Bad night (881)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever

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  (847): stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever http://tfl.nu/se2n
  Replies (47) Good night (6920) Bad night (997)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.

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  (914): i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed. http://tfl.nu/dx0g
  Replies (29) Good night (621) Bad night (5951)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it

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  (215): i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it http://tfl.nu/rarj
  Replies (14) Good night (7156) Bad night (723)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine

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  (517): He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine http://tfl.nu/n0tq
  Replies (20) Good night (5652) Bad night (1114)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater

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  (778): There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater http://tfl.nu/g5ze
  Replies (4) Good night (870) Bad night (2444)
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  (619): View more from California

  I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.

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  (619): I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes. http://tfl.nu/rji6
  Replies (10) Good night (1506) Bad night (858)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.

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  (651): This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too. http://tfl.nu/gsqe
  Replies (4) Good night (1041) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"

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  (248): My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues" http://tfl.nu/nel0
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (947)
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  (661): View more from California

  Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.

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  (661): Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex. http://tfl.nu/usxr
  Replies (3) Good night (903) Bad night (516)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.

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  (785): What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective. http://tfl.nu/kk8s
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (281)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.

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  (615): Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man. http://tfl.nu/6vhr
  Replies (0) Good night (645) Bad night (275)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?

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  (505): After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run? http://tfl.nu/593o
  Replies (3) Good night (216) Bad night (839)

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