i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING