I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
where are you?
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
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I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.