I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!