you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
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Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
