I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.