Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Call me so I can make it juicy for ya

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  (704): Call me so I can make it juicy for ya http://tfl.nu/dgtu
  Replies (8) Good night (1356) Bad night (550)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework

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  (828): I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework http://tfl.nu/o5bk
  Replies (34) Good night (1165) Bad night (4647)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now

  (310): View more from California

  Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...

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  (520): His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now (310): Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok... http://tfl.nu/uoe6
  Replies (14) Good night (4248) Bad night (1022)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy

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  (816): I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy http://tfl.nu/kyus
  Replies (16) Good night (4775) Bad night (651)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.

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  (+44): Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint. http://tfl.nu/r0bi
  Replies (25) Good night (5753) Bad night (2820)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.

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  (410): I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator. http://tfl.nu/m1m0
  Replies (10) Good night (1486) Bad night (3000)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock

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  (518): i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock http://tfl.nu/9mlf
  Replies (9) Good night (6459) Bad night (911)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.

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  (250): He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS. http://tfl.nu/xkr3
  Replies (5) Good night (977) Bad night (2484)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.

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  (817): Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24. http://tfl.nu/4goe
  Replies (5) Good night (1397) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street.  Hello 29...

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  (614): Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. ?Hello 29... http://tfl.nu/5t6y
  Replies (3) Good night (674) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.

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  (585): 20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me. http://tfl.nu/kxs1
  Replies (4) Good night (1541) Bad night (454)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?

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  (708): Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in? http://tfl.nu/sg75
  Replies (5) Good night (2064) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?

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  (910): Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares? http://tfl.nu/w5f4
  Replies (16) Good night (631) Bad night (1455)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning

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  (757): Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning http://tfl.nu/ntuq
  Replies (14) Good night (1818) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.

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  (312): If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/vx4i
  Replies (4) Good night (1029) Bad night (311)

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