Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  dude i need help, im throwing up blood.

  (323): View more from California

  no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.

  (310): View more from California

  oh, so thats why my junks red.

  (323): View more from California

  wow. cant help you there...

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  (310): dude i need help, im throwing up blood. (323): no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up. (310): oh, so thats why my junks red. (323): wow. cant help you there... http://tfl.nu/yeir
  Replies (15) Good night (810) Bad night (1608)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....

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  (443): We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich.... http://tfl.nu/i7fe
  Replies (100) Good night (38531) Bad night (1298)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious

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  (203): She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious http://tfl.nu/rvtf
  Replies (35) Good night (4780) Bad night (2528)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out

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  (403): That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out http://tfl.nu/2o0c
  Replies (8) Good night (3924) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...

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  (801): I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag... http://tfl.nu/qim6
  Replies (7) Good night (978) Bad night (3204)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.

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  (707): there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced. http://tfl.nu/voth
  Replies (28) Good night (1264) Bad night (5261)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother

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  (865): I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother http://tfl.nu/1rmv
  Replies (7) Good night (1367) Bad night (985)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers

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  (250): Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers http://tfl.nu/71zx
  Replies (3) Good night (1095) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.

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  (908): Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else. http://tfl.nu/wso9
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?

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  (757): Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this? http://tfl.nu/omqc
  Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.

  (631): View more from New York

  You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?

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  (904): Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever. (631): You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring? http://tfl.nu/4f34
  Replies (1) Good night (1539) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.

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  (720): You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people. http://tfl.nu/1lh0
  Replies (0) Good night (444) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?

  (1-518): View more from New York

  ...you should fill the cart some more

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  (518): Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it? (1-518): ...you should fill the cart some more http://tfl.nu/ls8l
  Replies (3) Good night (498) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on

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  (315): Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on http://tfl.nu/taed
  Replies (1) Good night (619) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.

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  (619): I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to. http://tfl.nu/633r
  Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (338)

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