Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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