My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize