he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
