Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
