He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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