Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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