K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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