I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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