Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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