Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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