people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I will be naked everywhere
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
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You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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