We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
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Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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