i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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