it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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