she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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