Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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