his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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