I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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