Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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