Soap is not a condiment
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just google imaged poop.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
