hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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