I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
