just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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