He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
pray to the hookup gods
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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