All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
