how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
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When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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