Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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