Pants 0. Shit 1.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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