my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.