I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.