Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
These 19 Sad People Chose Video Games Over Sex
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?