Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
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i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
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When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.