your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
please come you make the beer taste better
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
