I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
