Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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