dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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