My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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