I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
