i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
