she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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