Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize