Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize